Posts

21 October

Some have commented about my use of neural entrainment in the management of my seizures. What’s that all mean. Well my seizure activity is predominantly at delta wave frequency. For example, when asleep you exhibit low delta waves. When you are awake you tend not too. Unless you have a seizure. Yes I have seizures in my sleep by the way. This is when you enter what I describe as the ‘quantum state of being conscious yet subconscious if not unconscious. Having discovered that daytime delta waves were a biological marker, the question was/is ‘is it possible to alter the state of the neural network to mirror alternate frequencies’. Resulting in the cessation of seizure onset. This is what entrainment is. Changing the presiding and predominant brain wave at either just before seizure onset or immediately after onset. How. Binaural beats. You can look this concept up. An example of some music with binaural beats which work for me is Jean Michel Jarre link below. This is also how the Blue Danube Waltz works and there are many other examples.

16th June

Many thanks to all for the birthday wishes. A good day made complete with a family meal.

Two interesting graphics.

The first shows the impact of the routines I have been using over the three years to manage my seizure activity. This shows how the peak times of the day have been gradually managed down to a smaller number of periods of activity.

The second is my current relative probability index. What this means is I would expect an episode within any rolling 72 hour period.

Having this information helps me manage my seizures. Data and evidence based.

Seizure activity by hour of the day

Relative seizure index

May 27th

Slight increase in seizures. I have ticked up.

Daily probability is 0.29 events a day which puts me in a rolling 72 hour window of a seizure event.

Interestingly I am having more physical seizures as opposed to absences.

Still well below the Nov spike of 2.2 related to my right ear though.

I had hoped to be back to a lower level by now after Nov.

It’s taking longer this time to get back to what was the new normal.

Maybe this current level is the new new norm.

Relative index on a scale between 0 and 7

11 April

A quick update on the third anniversary of my science project.

Yes, three years ago today. A date etched in my memory. Well, it is not often you are declared status epilepticus and pumped full with all the available diazepam of three ambulances to stabilise you.

All is remarkably good and shows that the ‘management’ of seizures can be achieved. For sure, it requires you to make changes.

Nature is a fickle creature and there is much to learn, to respect in its wondersome. To understand the various aspects of your seizure activity, proactively managing and minimising those activities and external stimuli which trigger you. Building routines and much more, but all worth it.

After my little spike in November 23, which led to a rapid and clearly effective surgical intervention to my right ear, I am behaving again.

As at today, I am back at my now usual normal, of a seizure being probable in the order of c. 0.06 per day. I am well and content.🙂🙂🙂

There is always sunshine after the rain as Jarre put into music. You can listen to this at

Below you can see the last 22 months as a snapshot using a relative index to show the trend.

Relative incidence

The probability scale above is from zero to seven. At seven I would expect to be in status epilepticus territory.

10 March

Well, I find this interesting.

When you are prone to seizures, you always want to know, how likely and when a seizure may occur. This helps to plan many things including what is a good idea and what is not such a good idea in terms of timeline.

Using all of the techniques I have learnt, and putting all these together with lots of good practice was about reducing my overall seizure activity by having the ability to forecast when I was more likely to have an event.

I have a method of forecasting this elevated probability which has proven consistent and which gives me c. 72 hours advance prior notice of seizure activity based upon my prodromes and auras.

The three year anniversary of onset is nearly upon me so I thought I’d review the data so see how am I doing in matching high probability times versus my actions to mitigate by hours of the day.

Here we go, in 2021, I was learning and there was a strong probability that I could have a seizure at most times of the day.

In 2022, I got a little better and had a few major peak times where it was better for ‘discretion to be the better part of valour’.

In 2023, I have been able to further reduce the peak times. There are still peaks, and I continue to do less in the high probability peak spike times.

These times of the day are where I would typically try to avoid any of my known triggers wherever possible. Triggers can be simple ones such as a mobile phone on speakerphone, to multiple conversations in a busy room.

My primary trigger would seem to be aural and I do have multiple sets of special ear phones.

Very encouraging to see both the number of seizures reducing along with the reduction in the distribution of the spikes with the day becoming a little more flat in terms of when my probability turns into an actual seizure.

Year 1
Years 2 and 3

26 Sept

Getting the ‘ACME seizure gadget’ ready again for Wednesday am. Not dissimilar to a migratory creature travelling 3200 km in a South easterly east direction for a more favourable climate arriving home from home.

Going for some relaxation time jn Argaka, Cyprus. The tiredness can be attributed to the elevated seizure activity this month.

September activity

3rd September

I experienced a cluster of two clonic seizures. I had a short interval between them.

I have noticed in recent weeks the feeling of general tiredness. I have spent many an afternoon having a nap for an hour. At weekends I am spending 3 to 4 hours a day resting.

Very tired at the moment.

24 Aug

Reality check on my little science project.

Well, the decision has been taken.

Context: I voluntarily surrendered my driving licence at the onset of my seizures in April 2021.

Update as at August 2023: The short version of the decision is this: I do not feel that it is safe for me to drive.

I cannot even begin to, or even want to think about the possible consequences to innocent others, should I have any of my types of seizure whilst driving a car. I completely agree with my neurologist’s recent declaration that I remain medically unfit to drive. This is for a further 12-month period. I said to myself and others very openly that, I would only be able to begin to contemplate reapplying for my driving licence after 365 days of no seizure activity.

I have many different types of seizures. They range from full body violent seizures to the more subtle and sophisticated ones such as absences and drop attacks where in the latter I lose consciousness in a blink of an eye.

l am currently at 216 days along that timeline or rather I was.

I had two back-to-back physical seizures on 6th August which resets this clock to zero.

On one level, hugely disappointing for me yes. It means a continued limitation to my independence and the continuing reliance and support of my hugely caring wife and best friend Miranda.

I would be lost without her.

Miranda and all of my family have been amazing from the moment of onset, especially Miranda who made the call for the first ambulance in April 2021.

Paramedics declared me as status epilepticus and pumped me full of all available diazepam to stabilise me. For that I am grateful.

It is a sobering thought when you look at the morbidity rate of patients who are declared SE and the potential consequences if not treated rather quickly. I got off lightly so not being able to drive a car, well I’d swop that anyday for the complications which did not arise.

At another level, it is the only sincere and morally appropriate decision one can make given that seizures have a profound effect over your control and awareness. These words control, awareness, along with loss off and car, don’t play well together in a sentence.

Seizures are involuntary.

Driving is not a right.

You are only licenced if you meet certain criteria.

Way above that though is the morality of is it safe for me and for others – for me to be driving a big lump of metal travelling at speed. The answer is no and therefore this decision is the only option available to any reasonable person.

I am aware that some people may take the view that it is perfectly acceptable to drive with seizures and all I can do is to ask them to consider the evidence, their probability and to be rational and truthful to themselves and others when making their own decisions.

There is always the bus, shanks pony or an Uber. For balance, other modes of transport are available.

So here is an appropriate song which sums up why seizures should be taken quite seriously, written by Joy Division and sung by Ian Curtis, an epileptic himself. I saw this performed live back in the day and was mesmerised by Ian. The lady he sings about, another epileptic as they say, did not make it. Thankfully medical interventions are much more advanced nowadays.

Joy Division

There is though a much more positive conclusion to this little update which is that I have made remarkable progress in the past two years. Yes, it has been life changing and I have learnt a lot. The song below is one that I listened to constantly in hospital between seizures whilst plotting my escape from the clutches of the medical staff who were determined to push me around in a wheelchair lest I have a seizure and hurt myself. Not for me.

Hans Zimmer

Thanks for reading and listening to the two ends of the spectrum.

1st July

In response to a question about driving.

Hi a deeply philosophical question.

Firstly we are given a licence to drive based upon a set of criteria. It is not a right.

Now no-one can predict the future or a future event. All we can reasonably do is to consider the probability of anything and that in itself is difficult. Some would call this a risk assessment.

Driving requires awareness and control however people interpret these simple words.

My view is that in relation to seizures this awareness and control is altered, in a way that this reduces the normal awareness and control. This itself is subjective as to what is normal to therefore be able to define, describe altered.

I also hold the view that this altered state is in play when I detect an aura not just when the ictal phase begins. I could go on.

For me the moral view is that I will need to have been 365 days without any seizure activity and I have different ones before I can honestly contemplate this.

By my count I am at 186 days towards this number.

Everyone is unique and everyone will have their own view.

The overriding consideration is ‘is it safe for myself and others to drive’.

On balance I do not yet feel that I meet that test irrespective of medical opinion or otherwise and will review my thoughts after a period of 365 days.

This is my personal view knowing what I do about my seizures.

Apologies for a very grey answer but I do not think it is a black and white subject nor do I believe it to be an easy decision for anyone considering the length of time between last seizure and driving and then considering the probability of a future event whatever that event may be.

Hope this helps.